The Info Desk employees look at you blankly.

 "Hello," you say, "My, you're healthy-looking. Enjoying the student life here at Clark?"

 The employee on the left smacks her gum and says, "Do you want a list of movies playing tonight? Or what?"

 "Well, dear girl, whom do you expect to win the debate tonight?"

 "What debate?"

 You look again at the 12-foot long neon-yellow banner that says "Debate Tonight," but apparently she's not kidding.

 "You know... The one tonight... In Tilton Hall..."

 She turns to her friend. Her friend says, "I think Gilpatrick will win. He's dreamy."

 You thank them, and look up Gilpatrick in the University telephone directory, which, like the UC itself, looks really impressive until you have to use it for something.

 You eventually find Gilpatrick in the P's. "Hmm... Jorge Gilpatrick^A..." The name sounds familiar. You remember the way the Info Desk person spoke of him, and you realize you're in for the fight of your life.

 You have to study for this debate, and you have to do it now. Suddenly, the sun breaks through the clouds, shining a ray of light directly onto you. Your entire body begins to glow, and you have the greatest insight of your life.

 "The Academic and Financial Plan! All the answers are in there! It's the Holy Bible of the University!" All you need to do, in order to be the biggest, baddest policy wonk ever seen at this school, is find a copy of it.

 You scurry back to your office. As you enter the Geography Building, you notice a student in the bushes with a stopwatch. He clicks it, frowns at what he sees, and makes a note in his ledger.

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