Upon deciding that the cafeteria is the lesser of all evils, you head over. Luckily, there is no one in the UC, so you don't have to worry about getting a paper bag to cover your head. Despite this, you feel an obligation to look busy, so you pick up the pace, glancing at your watch every seven seconds or so, letting out harsh sighs of impatience. Arriving at the cafeteria entrance, you give your card to a worker. You wait fifteen minutes, and then finally you show him how to use the button that says "cash card" on their register. He looks up at you in amazement.

You enter the servery, searching every corner for signs of life. There are none. Miraculously, they have a hard time accommodating only one of you. After forcing you to wait for half an hour, they give you an impromptu survey to attempt to show you that "Bon Appetit cares."

  Since you have time, you examine the silverware and cups. Then you learn that it's not a coincidence-- none of them aren't dirty. You settle on a cup with a hair in it-- at least you can remove it.

Turn to Page 14.