You leap into the air, exclaiming to no one in particular "I can drum. I can also sew and cook and clean, vacuuming is my specialty." The small Brit grabs you by the cusp of your shirt and throws you on stage, "Let's see what you can do, thug." So you do it... you do it all. Never mind the fact that you've never touched a drum kit before in your life.

 And the band is left in awe as you rejuvenate their otherwise dull set. The minuscule crowd is stunned at your undying energy and soulful vigor and considering it's an Oasis show, that's just about all they're stunned by.

 After the show, the annoying Brit attaches himself to your leg like a dog in heat, "What are you doing for the next six months? I'm about to embark on a world tour and I don't think we can do it without you." What follows is forty-three minutes of the worst groveling you've ever experienced in your short pathetic life.

Turn to Page 79.