The cause of him passing out-- damage to his haircut-- is a double joke. It's both a riff on his always-well-groomed appearance, and a sly reference to the IDRISI-conspiracy articles we published in the Fall '97 Scarletparody, which raised the theory (with evidence) that senior administrators were hosts to alien symbiotes disguised as hair, thus explaining their behavior. Hypothetically, damage to the symbiote would cause damage to the host. Note that he thinks "the hair" not "my hair"...