Mike Dennis, class of '96. Hired directly into the position of Business Manager for the University. The butt of endless jokes, in WBand in private, especially about the suits he had to wear (which looked like they were hastily put together, either bought off the rack or stolen from his dad). When Dennis shows up later in the book, most of his dialogue was produced using a Random Jargon Generator, an effort to reproduce his bureacratese without too much thought.