A Note on Discrepancies: In addition to photos and articles only available here, most copy editing, graphic design, and layout mistakes have been fixed. Care has been taken to preserve the character of the original.

2. Editorial: A brief explanation of the bitterness behind the cover article, by (an uncredited) Jon Messinger ('00). Also contains the masthead and legal info. Zack's original Editorial can be read, too (only online!).

3. "Periodic Table of the Contents of This Periodical": Our regular combination of a Table of Contents and About the Authors' page. Good for an overview of the issue and learning about our contributors.

4. StudCo: What's Up With That? by Emily Sachs ('98). Clark's most experienced journalist wraps up Council's chaotic semester.

5. An Open Letter to Rob Clark: by Jon Messinger ('00). Some insights into Clark politics and Mr. Clark's ill-fated campaign.

6. The Real Deal: by Bill Evans ('99). Clark's most experienced behind-the-scenes operator dishes the dirt on living well in spite of Clark's bureaucracy. A must-read for anyone involved with the Clark community.

10. More Words About StudCo, Buildings, and Food: by Mike Iceland ('99). Council examined by an avid Council follower and one-time Presidential candidate.

12. The WheatBread Interview-- Josh Duksin: by Emily Drake ('00) and staff. Clark's most visible/outspoken political and theatrical figure puts himself under the spotlight in the first installment of a regular WheatBread feature.

16. The Cooking Bachelor's Patented Chocolate Chip Cookies: by Dave Reed ('98). Everyone's favorite baked goods, done bachelor-style. Clip n' save!

17. Summer in Worcester: by Mollie Wittstein ('99). Life abounds, once the students leave...

18. TRANSFER NOW! 25 Reasons to Leave Clark: by Zack Ordynans ('98) and Emily Sachs ('98) with Nicole Imbracsio ('98). A detailed and far-from-exhaustive shopping list of things wrong with the University. Featuring "How to Transfer," a brief guide to the logistics of leaving.

22. Afternoon: Bemoaning the Loss of the Saturday Morning: by Jon Messinger ('00). An ode to childhood innocence by WB's precocious 18 year old Editor.

23. Sound Salvation-- another ROC-U Update: The new leaders of Clark's radio station present another update on the wondrous workings of XRCU- 95.1 FM.

24. Caveat Emptor-- You, Worcester, and Movie Rentals to Avoid: by Jessica Lerner ('99). Debunking the myths about some so-called "classics."

27. Maturity in College: by Elizabeth Simpson ('98). High School meets Higher Ed...

28. Introducing... CUP-FA: by Jeremy Lesniak ('01). A truly unique solution to Clark's doldrums.

30. An Ode to My David Ducovny Obsession: by Regina Robo ('00). Featuring a sexy sexy picture of Ducovny with his shirt open. Children under 18 not admitted.

31. A Victimization of Democracy: by Christopher Hagelstein ('87). Clark's most reclusive on-campus alum and satirist takes aim at the Wall Street Journal's analysis of Princess Di.

33. Bang! Stop Smoking! A new poem by campus great Rachel Eisner ('97).

34. Grind Central-- What a Great Idea: by Elizabeth Simpson ('98). An update from the Manager of Clark's only hang-out & coffeehouse with lasers in the ceiling.

35. Ask Dr. Null: by Dr. Null, PhD. In this column, a professor writes to find out about the mysterious "Teaching Awards" handed out each year by the school.

Back Cover. Han Solo and WheatBread find they have something in common besides wookies.

Special Feature! Only available online! Zack Ordynans recounts his experiences as a member of Student Council, including great behind-the-scenes info and tasty scoops about ongoing scandals. Don't miss his analysis of this year's Council!